What a title, huh? Might as well keep it simple and to the point. A lot of you ladies who read my blog know that I underwent breast augmentation surgery in April of 2007, about a month away from my 24th birthday.
It was one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself and because I get a lot of questions and emails about the procedure and my experience, I thought I'd share it here.
Before I begin, I'll address the inevitable---why would I share this so publicly? Well, the simple reason is that I have nothing to hide and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of the fact that I've had plastic surgery. It's quite the opposite actually, I'm proud of and happy with my decision. I know there's a stigma associated with plastic surgery and part of the reason I like to share my experience is because I like to dispel the myth that only strippers, porn stars, women who hate themselves and unintelligent women who only care about how they look get plastic surgery.
Most people would never know I had the surgery unless they knew me before I had it. At 5'10, my 34D cup size (which looks more like a 34C on my frame) is so proportionate that sometimes I don't even believe I have implants---they look like the breasts my body was supposed to have.
So, let's rewind a little to a time I'll call B.I.---"Before Implants." Ever since I was in 7th grade or so, I noticed I wasn't developing like the other girls. I was really tall and skinny and of course with that, came a very flat chest. I had always hoped that I would develop more in high school, but that just didn't happen. In fact, my breasts never grew beyond 7th grade. They just stayed flat. Like completely flat. Like 34 AAA flat.
So, I did what every girl does. I wore padded bras, sometimes 2 at once if an outfit required it and I dealt with it. I was generally happy with my body and how I looked so I wasn't too hard on myself---but I did always think about my breasts and wished that they were larger so my body looked a little more balanced.
I started thinking about breast augmentation in high school, but didn't seriously consider getting the surgery until my last few years in college. I kept hearing that your breasts can grow into your 20s and I think I hoped that they would...but deep down I knew they wouldn't. I'm not sure how I "knew" but I think the fact that going on the pill and gaining weight as I got older and my boobs staying the same size regardless was a pretty good indicator that my triple A's weren't going to magically bloom into B's overnight.
I still remember the day like it was yesterday. My mom and I had just had lunch with family at an all-you-can-eat buffet and for some reason, I was feeling particularly passionate about my flat chest that day. On our drive home, I broke down, cried and told my mom that I really really wanted to seriously considering having the surgery done when I graduated from my postgraduate program. I don't know why I cried, I guess I was just simultaneously happy that I was finally getting serious about it and that I would finally have the proportion to my body that I had always dreamed of.
She said she would take me on a consult---my mom is a nurse and one of the doctor's that operates at her hospital is a very well known plastic surgeon. I went in for my consultation and of course I did a lot of research on my own. The day I booked my surgery was surreal. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. A lot of women say they felt nervous the day of their surgery---but I felt excited and happy. Like I'd been waiting so many years to finally do this and it was finally happening.
So....
It was one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself and because I get a lot of questions and emails about the procedure and my experience, I thought I'd share it here.
Before I begin, I'll address the inevitable---why would I share this so publicly? Well, the simple reason is that I have nothing to hide and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of the fact that I've had plastic surgery. It's quite the opposite actually, I'm proud of and happy with my decision. I know there's a stigma associated with plastic surgery and part of the reason I like to share my experience is because I like to dispel the myth that only strippers, porn stars, women who hate themselves and unintelligent women who only care about how they look get plastic surgery.
Most people would never know I had the surgery unless they knew me before I had it. At 5'10, my 34D cup size (which looks more like a 34C on my frame) is so proportionate that sometimes I don't even believe I have implants---they look like the breasts my body was supposed to have.
So, let's rewind a little to a time I'll call B.I.---"Before Implants." Ever since I was in 7th grade or so, I noticed I wasn't developing like the other girls. I was really tall and skinny and of course with that, came a very flat chest. I had always hoped that I would develop more in high school, but that just didn't happen. In fact, my breasts never grew beyond 7th grade. They just stayed flat. Like completely flat. Like 34 AAA flat.
So, I did what every girl does. I wore padded bras, sometimes 2 at once if an outfit required it and I dealt with it. I was generally happy with my body and how I looked so I wasn't too hard on myself---but I did always think about my breasts and wished that they were larger so my body looked a little more balanced.
I started thinking about breast augmentation in high school, but didn't seriously consider getting the surgery until my last few years in college. I kept hearing that your breasts can grow into your 20s and I think I hoped that they would...but deep down I knew they wouldn't. I'm not sure how I "knew" but I think the fact that going on the pill and gaining weight as I got older and my boobs staying the same size regardless was a pretty good indicator that my triple A's weren't going to magically bloom into B's overnight.
I still remember the day like it was yesterday. My mom and I had just had lunch with family at an all-you-can-eat buffet and for some reason, I was feeling particularly passionate about my flat chest that day. On our drive home, I broke down, cried and told my mom that I really really wanted to seriously considering having the surgery done when I graduated from my postgraduate program. I don't know why I cried, I guess I was just simultaneously happy that I was finally getting serious about it and that I would finally have the proportion to my body that I had always dreamed of.
She said she would take me on a consult---my mom is a nurse and one of the doctor's that operates at her hospital is a very well known plastic surgeon. I went in for my consultation and of course I did a lot of research on my own. The day I booked my surgery was surreal. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. A lot of women say they felt nervous the day of their surgery---but I felt excited and happy. Like I'd been waiting so many years to finally do this and it was finally happening.
So....
Why did I do it?
It's hard to explain...especially to women who weren't flat-chested, but I'll try. When you think about the human body, men and women have differences (obviously). I truly felt that I was missing a part of me that made me a woman. Of course I was happy with myself overall and I felt beautiful because of the incredible people in my life who told me I was...but it was deeper than that. I always kind of felt that something was missing on my body because I had never developed breast tissue. I know a lot of women complain that they have small boobs---but I literally had none. No breast tissue whatsoever. My plastic surgeon even remarked during my consultation that I have some of the smallest breasts he had ever seen on someone of my size and that I was "underdeveloped." I guess I just always wanted that feminine curve on my body and I wanted to feel proportionate and fill out my clothes. For me, it was never about attracting men (I did that just fine with my triple A's) it was more about balancing my body. I have wide hips, and lacking curves on top made me feel very disproportionate.
So that's the overall reason---wanting to fill out my clothes and bathing suits and wanting to feel more proportionate and balanced. It's funny, because now that I've had my implants for nearly four years, I often think to myself that I feel more like "me" now than I ever did without them. A lot of people sneer at a woman putting a "foreign object" into her body---but for me, my implants feel like such a part of me that I can hardly remember what my body was like without them. They feel like the breasts I was meant to have.
What was the surgery like?
I was extremely fortunate to have a great surgeon (Dr. Sean Rice in Toronto, for those wondering). Not only did I have a very easy recovery, but my results are beautiful (and I don't say this to be conceited, I truly mean this from a surgical perspective---he just did such a beautiful job).
The day of my surgery I met with Dr. Rice and he made marks on my chest with the black marker you see on all of those plastic surgery shows. Then, I was wheeled into the OR and I was laying on the operating room table getting my IV. I still remember the nurse from that day---as they gave me my anesthetic, I remember looking up at her and noticing that she had indigo blue mascara on. I commended on it and she told me it was Dior mascara from Sephora...and then I must have gone under because I don't remember a thing after that.
Because my mom is a nurse at the hospital where I had my surgery, she was able to be in the post-op room that they don't let most patient's families into. When I woke up, she was right there. I was a bit foggy and I remember the nurse asking me if I was in pain. I felt a bit of almost like a burning sensation maybe so I said "yes" and she pushed a little morphine for me. Nice. I think we were in there for about 45 minutes to an hour and then I tried to sit up a few times. Eventually, I got into a wheelchair and we were leaving the post-op area. I had a suddenly strong urge to pee, so I told my mom and the nurse I had to pee and they wheeled me to the restroom. I remember standing up and trying to pee. It was a bit hard to sit up and down because I was still a bit woozy, shall we say, but I did it. Then, as I got out of the restroom I sat back down in the wheelchair and suddenly I just felt dizzy and nauseous and had a very dry feeling in my throat that made me almost not able to speak. I reached my arm out to a passing by nurse and begged for water. They brought me a Popsicle and all was well. Then, we got into my mom's car and she drove me home.
The next few days I rested in bed propped up on a ton of pillows and moved around the house pretty normally. The day after my surgery, I went to the mall for about 3 hours. On the third day after, I washed and blow dried my own hair. The fifth day after my surgery, I drove. I kept my body moving throughout my recovery because it helped me get back to normal more quickly. Sure I could have laid in bed all day, but I truly believe that leads to a slower recovery. It's like when you have a super hard workout and your muscles are sore---they just get more sore the second day---but, if you move around and do some cardio, they loosen up and feel so much better. I had no bruising and only a teeny bit of swelling.
So basically, I was fortunate to have a super-awesome recovery. I was never in pain. I would describe it more as a mild discomfort. The mornings were the only time you really feel sore ("morning boob" as they like to call it)---but the pain wasn't worse than what you'd get from a super-tough workout. I was pleasantly surprised by the complete lack of pain. I was able to eat normally, see my friends, etc. The one thing that was more painful than the actual surgery was (TMI alert!) the constipation you get from the anesthetic. I'm pretty sure that was the most painful part of the process.
Do you ever worry people will judge you because you've had a breast augmentation?
Like I said above, most people who didn't know me before the surgery would never know I had them done unless I told them. The main reason is because getting breast implants didn't suddenly make me have the desire to dress like a stripper or porn star. Isn't that amazing?! I was so worried that suddenly I'd want to dress like a stripper, but magically, that didn't happen (I am totally hoping people are reading the sarcasm here).
Listen, I never wanted to dress with my boobs hanging out all over the place and with cleavage being the focal-point of my look. Some women get boob jobs and they completely change and start dressing really provocatively to "embrace" and draw attention to their new look. For me, it was never about that. I wanted to fill out my clothes, not overflow out of them. If someone were to judge me because I chose to have this surgery, they are not someone I would want to associate with. I think because I went with a proportionate size for my body and height, most people wouldn't think much of it anyway. I'm always surprised when people say "really?!" if I tell them I have implants. It's because they aren't really detectable. In a bathing suit they might be a little more obvious, but in professional attire, you'd never know I had em'.
Do you have trouble fitting into clothes now?
Nope. Not ever. I went from a 34AAA cup to a 34D cup, but because I'm so tall, my 34Ds don't look like a D cup on me (more like a C). If you're 5'2 and get a D cup, you might not be able to fit into your XS shirts anymore, but I've never, ever had problems with finding clothes---they all fit even better now!
What kind of implants do you have?
Because I had a very narrow chest, my surgeon recommend High Profile implants. I'm happy I went with this because they have more projection that a normal implant which really makes them look perky and lovely. Basically, the implant itself it narrower but it project more outwards, allowing it to hold more fluid.
I have silicone gel implants by the company Allergan. I'm so happy I went with them over saline (nothing wrong with saline at all, I just liked the way the gels felt better.) My implants are 400cc's each and I had them put in with a crease incision (an incision underneath each breast) with a placement under the muscle. I have scars, but they're fine and I never even see em' because I cant really see underneath my boob if I'm looking at myself straight-on.
Don't only insecure people get implants?
I'm sure many women who get implants are insecure with themselves overall and think a boob job will make them happier or get them the attention they're seeking. For me, it was never about that. Was I insecure about the size of my chest? Of course I was. But was I an insecure woman? Nope. Men and women always told me I was beautiful, I had boyfriends who were attracted to me and I was overall happy with how I looked. Like I said above, not all women who get plastic surgery hate themselves. I just wanted to improve one part of my body that could only be done with surgery, and I've never looked back. I no longer have to think about how I can't buy a dress because I won't fill it out. It's wonderful. I think every woman has an insecurity or two---but I was never dominated by my insecurity.
Would you be happy if you had never gotten implants?
Of course! I'm a happy person and I'd be happy with or without my boobs. However, I do have to say I feel exponentially happier about my body now that I have them. I feel balanced. I keep going back to that word---but that's the best way I can describe it---that things are as they should be.
Will you ever replace them or have them taken out?
I plan to eventually have them re-done when I am finished having children. I do not plan to have them removed unless it was medically necessary. I plan to breastfeed if I can. If I ever have them redone, I might go to 450 or 500 cc implants. I'm thrilled with my size---but, as most women who have gotten implants will say "I could have gone a teeny bit larger." I don't know if I actually would, but 50 to 100 cc's is a few shot glasses full of fluid---not much at all.
How does your husband feel about your breast augmentation?
At the time I had the surgery done, I had been dating my (now) husband for about 6 months or so. He was always very supportive and told me that he would support me if the surgery would make me feel confident about my chest size. He was there for my after my surgery and has always had nothing but a positive outlook about it. He always says he loved me when he met me---without them, and he loves me just the same with them. He says as long as I'm happy, he's happy. I'm a lucky gal.
How did friends and family react?
You know what's amazing about plastic surgery? Most of the time, when the person wakes up from the surgery, they are still the same person they were before the surgery! I was shocked by it too, but really, you just wake up, and you're the same person, but with silicone round thingies in your chest (once again, please read the sarcasm.) Sure, there are some ladies who get implants and suddenly think they are "all that" and like to flaunt them every chance they get and it changes their personality a bit because maybe for the first time ever they feel good about themselves...but I'd argue that for most women (who were happy with how the looked before the surgery) the only thing that changes is that they're even happier and they don't have to stuff their bra anymore. Woo hoo! Seriously though, I was very open with friends and family about my surgery, and I was still the same gal as before, just with bigger boobies, so no one reacted adversely. Come to think of it, maybe they thought it was awesome that I finally had boobies, too.
I'm considering having a breast augmentation---where do I start?
- Only consider getting consultations from a board certified plastic surgeon
- Go to www.justbreastimplants.com/forum to talk to other women who have had the surgery---lots of great advice on these forums and plastic surgeons answer questions there too!
- At your consult---pay attention to your surgeon's bedside manner and go with the surgeon you feel most comfortable with---the one who took the time to answer your questions, address concerns, share their past work with you, make recommendations based on your unique measurements, etc...
If you have additional questions about my experience, please feel free to comment below or ask me anonymously on my formspring page.
xoxo,
Veronika.
PS---I know this entry is like beyond long---but I did want to share this little tidbit. Ever since I was in high school, I promised myself that I'd fill out my wedding dress on my wedding day. I'm happy to have fulfilled that promise.
Okay, so I was leaning all forward here and it's showing a little more cleavage than in all of my other photos (that were straight-on) but you get the picture!