- Wats The World’s Most Popular Word That Begins With An ‘F’ And Ends With A ‘K’ . . . . . . . . . . . . FACEBOOK
The Word U Thought Is Da 2nd Most Popular!
- “FACEBOOK Ki Yadain..” Woh Apne Status Ko Khud Hi LIKE Krna, Woh Apni D.P Ko Khud Hi NICE Kehna, Woh Apne LINK KO Khud Hi AWESOME Kehna, Woh Raat Bhar CHAT Pe Baatain, Woh Lover Of The Day Mai Jan Booj K Selection Karna… Ab Na Wo Din Rahay…
- Kashish Is Very Happy That Facebook Has Been Blocked =D , , , , , , , I Dint Know Where To Put This Status So I Msg U…!!
Lol…
- An Ordinary Person Wil Be Wid Books. But An Extraordinary Person Wil Be In That Book. Be Extraordinary Person Lyk Me! I’m On Facebook…
- Beeti Hui Zindagi Ki Kuch Itni Si Kahani Hai…. Kuch Khud Barbaad Hue.. Kuch Facebook Ki Meharbani Hai…….
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Posts Tagged ‘Facebook Status SMS,Facebook Status Messages
Facebook Funny Status,Hindi Facebook Status,Facebook Notes and Poems
- An Ordinary Person Wil Be Wid Books. But An Extraordinary Person Wil Be In That Book. Be Extraordinary Person Lyk Me! I’m On Facebook…
- Beeti Hui Zindagi Ki Kuch Itni Si Kahani Hai…. Kuch Khud Barbaad Hue.. Kuch Facebook Ki Meharbani Hai…….
- A Rumors about Facebook Facebook Shutting Down: Facebook Owner Said: “Facebook Has Gotten Out Of Control,” Said Zuckerberg In A Press Conference Outside His Palo Alto Office, “And The Stress Of Managing This Company Has Ruined My…
- Height Of Shock: Malkin: Kya Huwa Tum 3 Din Kaam Pe Nai Ayi??? Kamwali: Memsab Mainey To Facebook Pe Status Update Kar Diya Tha,.. Ke Main Gaon Ja Rahi Hoon. . . APKE Pati Ne Comment Bhi Kiya, “HAVE A SAFE TRIP.. COME SOON HONEY. . . “
- Wats The World’s Most Popular Word That Begins With An ‘F’ And Ends With A ‘K’ . . . . . . . . . . . . FACEBOOK
- A Man Joind FACEBOOK His Son Wrote On His Wall “W T F Dad” Man Rplied: Wht8 D Hell , U’ve No Respect 4 Me ? Kid Rplied: Dad Chill It Means “Welcome To Facebook” =P…
- (Read Till The End) Do You Know…. How Much V Pakistanis Gives To Facebook??? Facebook Earnings= 1,100,000,000 Facebook User=460,922,100 Per User= $2.39 Pakistani Users=2359620 Revenue Generated Frm Us=$5,631,281.29 Which Is Equals To…
- PTA Is Ready To Block Facebook Permanently In Pak So Those Who Have Uploaded Their Personal Pics Remove Them Along With Their Data . It Will Only Be Opened For 10-12 Hours After Some Time. Fwd This, Delete Ur Pics And Infrm Every…
- Congratulations!!! :-) Www.Drawmohammed.Com Has Been Hacked Now By Turkish (Muslim Brothers) Hackers Named “Cyber Warrior Of Islam” Must Check This Website (With Correct Spelling Given) To Check What Can We Muslims Do Say Your Self. ALLAH…
- “FACEBOOK Ki Yadain..” Woh Apne Status Ko Khud Hi LIKE Krna, Woh Apni D.P Ko Khud Hi NICE Kehna, Woh Apne LINK KO Khud Hi AWESOME Kehna, Woh Raat Bhar CHAT Pe Baatain, Woh Lover Of The Day Mai Jan Booj K Selection Karna… Ab Na Wo Din Rahay…
Cool Jokes and Hindi SMS Funny
JOR SE BOLO
Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!
Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI
COMPUTER ACRONYMS
PCMCIA
People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN
It Still Does Nothing
APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI
System Can’t See It
DOS
Defective Operating System
BASICBill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM
I Blame Microsoft
DEC
Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2
Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW
World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL
Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA
A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP
Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO
Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.
DOMAIN NAMES
Choosing the right domain name is important for webmasters but checking the meaning of your desired domain name carefully before registering it should be done otherwise………
Firstly there is “Who Represents?” – a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
http://www.whorepresents.com —> whore presents
Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can
exchange advice and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com —> expert sex change
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net –> Penis land
Need a therapist? Try:
http://www.therapistfinder.com –> the rapist finder
Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New SouthWales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com –> molestation nursery
Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!
Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI
COMPUTER ACRONYMS
PCMCIA
People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN
It Still Does Nothing
APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI
System Can’t See It
DOS
Defective Operating System
BASICBill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM
I Blame Microsoft
DEC
Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2
Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW
World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL
Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA
A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP
Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO
Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.
DOMAIN NAMES
Choosing the right domain name is important for webmasters but checking the meaning of your desired domain name carefully before registering it should be done otherwise………
Firstly there is “Who Represents?” – a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
http://www.whorepresents.com —> whore presents
Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can
exchange advice and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com —> expert sex change
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net –> Penis land
Need a therapist? Try:
http://www.therapistfinder.com –> the rapist finder
Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New SouthWales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com –> molestation nursery
jokes in hindi funny,sms jokes hindi,hindi hot jokes,funny sms jokes in hindi
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”
The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand…
Totally exhausted and panting.
Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place”
“That should have worked,” said the friend.
The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic,
I also didn’t realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left…”
SOME REASONS WHY A MODEM IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
1. A modem doesn’t ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing “AT”.
2. When you’re done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
3. A modem won’t say a word if you come home late.
4. A modem can’t collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
5. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
6. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
7. A modem doesn’t mind if you call another modem.
8. A virus you catch from your modem doesn’t require a trip to the doctor.
9. You don’t have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
10. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control – you can even turn the sound OFF.
A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”
The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand…
Totally exhausted and panting.
Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place”
“That should have worked,” said the friend.
The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic,
I also didn’t realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left…”
SOME REASONS WHY A MODEM IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
1. A modem doesn’t ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing “AT”.
2. When you’re done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
3. A modem won’t say a word if you come home late.
4. A modem can’t collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
5. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
6. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
7. A modem doesn’t mind if you call another modem.
8. A virus you catch from your modem doesn’t require a trip to the doctor.
9. You don’t have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
10. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control – you can even turn the sound OFF.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Funny Love Quotes Photos
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie
-------------------------------
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein
------------------------------------
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein
-------------------------------------
Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Anonymous
------------------------------------
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
-- Anonymous
------------------------------------
The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
-- Anonymous
----------------------------------------
Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks
and sneakers behind along the way.
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------------------
When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------------------
Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
-- Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
You can't buy love on eBay.
-- Anonymous
----------------------------------------
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
-- Bette Midler
---------------------------------------
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis
----------------------------------------
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
-- Cathy Carlyle
-------------------------------------
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan
------------------------------------
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher
--------------------------------
Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
-- Cher
----------------------------------
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
-- Dorothy Parker
-------------------------------------------
I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-- Dudley Moore
---------------------------------------
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck
------------------------------------
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone
that you really saw.
-- Fran Lebowitz
--------------------------------------
It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon
---------------------------------------
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
---------------------------------------
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
-- Fulton J. Sheen
-----------------------------------
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin
----------------------------------------
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
-- Glenn Beck
--------------------------------------
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
-----------------------------------------
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger
-------------------------------------------
When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you.
And she never did.
-- James Fineous McBride
-------------------------------------------
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything
else in the house.
-- Jean Kerr
--------------------------------------
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford
--------------------------------------
It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.
-- Joan Rivers
------------------------------------
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
-- Joan Rivers
-----------------------------------------
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll
--------------------------------------
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
-- Joyce Brothers
--------------------------------------------
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn
-----------------------------------------------
True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
-- La Rochefoucauld
-------------------------------------
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
-- Lily Tomlin
------------------------------------------
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
-- Louis Jordan
------------------------------------
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
-- Natalie Wood
----------------------------------------
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
-- Oscar Wilde
--------------------------------------
Love is a grave mental disease.
-- Plato
------------------------------------
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner
-------------------------------------
All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters
----------------------------------------
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin
---------------------------------------
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy
-----------------------------------
Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
-- Tommy Dewar
--------------------------------------
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
----------------------------------------
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney
------------------------------------------
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------------
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen
------------------------------------------
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------
The sincerest love is the love of food.
Bernard Shaw .
***********
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
***********
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
***********
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown
***********
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-- Freud
***********
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
***********
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
***********
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
***********
Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."
Mae West
***********
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
***********
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
***********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
***********
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
***********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred
***********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde
***********
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—
Zsa Zsa Gabor
***********
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
***********
The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Coleridge
***********
One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
Benjamin Franklin
***********
.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry Youngman
***********
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
***********
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would
bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
***********
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
***********
Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will
not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss
***********
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron
***********
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.
***********
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes
***********
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
***********
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus
***********
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's
what it means."
George Burns.
***********
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.
***********
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
***********
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once
***********
Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
Anon
***********
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
***********
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
***********
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence
***********
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
***********
A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
unknown
***********
I think, therefore I'm single.
I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
You call it madness, but I call it love.
Don Byas
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Woodrow Wyatt
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Henry Louis Mencken [Add to favorites]
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht
Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it
a few times.
Rita Rudner
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Pearl Bailey
Love doesn't make the world go round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
________________________________________________
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
________________________________________________
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
________________________________________________
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
________________________________________________
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
-- Agatha Christie
-------------------------------
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein
------------------------------------
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein
-------------------------------------
Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Anonymous
------------------------------------
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
-- Anonymous
------------------------------------
The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
-- Anonymous
----------------------------------------
Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks
and sneakers behind along the way.
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------------------
When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
-- Anonymous
-------------------------------------------
Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
-- Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
You can't buy love on eBay.
-- Anonymous
----------------------------------------
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
-- Bette Midler
---------------------------------------
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis
----------------------------------------
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
-- Cathy Carlyle
-------------------------------------
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan
------------------------------------
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher
--------------------------------
Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
-- Cher
----------------------------------
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
-- Dorothy Parker
-------------------------------------------
I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-- Dudley Moore
---------------------------------------
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck
------------------------------------
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone
that you really saw.
-- Fran Lebowitz
--------------------------------------
It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon
---------------------------------------
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
---------------------------------------
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
-- Fulton J. Sheen
-----------------------------------
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin
----------------------------------------
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
-- Glenn Beck
--------------------------------------
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
-----------------------------------------
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger
-------------------------------------------
When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you.
And she never did.
-- James Fineous McBride
-------------------------------------------
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything
else in the house.
-- Jean Kerr
--------------------------------------
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford
--------------------------------------
It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.
-- Joan Rivers
------------------------------------
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
-- Joan Rivers
-----------------------------------------
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll
--------------------------------------
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
-- Joyce Brothers
--------------------------------------------
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn
-----------------------------------------------
True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
-- La Rochefoucauld
-------------------------------------
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
-- Lily Tomlin
------------------------------------------
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
-- Louis Jordan
------------------------------------
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
-- Natalie Wood
----------------------------------------
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
-- Oscar Wilde
--------------------------------------
Love is a grave mental disease.
-- Plato
------------------------------------
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner
-------------------------------------
All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters
----------------------------------------
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin
---------------------------------------
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy
-----------------------------------
Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
-- Tommy Dewar
--------------------------------------
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
----------------------------------------
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney
------------------------------------------
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------------
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen
------------------------------------------
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------
The sincerest love is the love of food.
Bernard Shaw .
***********
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
***********
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
***********
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown
***********
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-- Freud
***********
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
***********
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
***********
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
***********
Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."
Mae West
***********
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
***********
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
***********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
***********
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
***********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred
***********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde
***********
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—
Zsa Zsa Gabor
***********
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
***********
The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Coleridge
***********
One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
Benjamin Franklin
***********
.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry Youngman
***********
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
***********
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would
bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
***********
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
***********
Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will
not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss
***********
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron
***********
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.
***********
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes
***********
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
***********
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus
***********
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's
what it means."
George Burns.
***********
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.
***********
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
***********
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once
***********
Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
Anon
***********
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
***********
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
***********
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence
***********
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
***********
A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
unknown
***********
I think, therefore I'm single.
I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
You call it madness, but I call it love.
Don Byas
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Woodrow Wyatt
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Henry Louis Mencken [Add to favorites]
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht
Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it
a few times.
Rita Rudner
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Pearl Bailey
Love doesn't make the world go round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
________________________________________________
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
________________________________________________
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
________________________________________________
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
________________________________________________
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)